This is easier said than done for me. The truth is that I can't really think of any people that I need to forgive. I don't like conflict, so when it comes up, I like to get things settled quickly and move on. I think this is good because I don't hold grudges and I don't carry around a lot of unresolved stuff.
But, I feel like I may be missing something subtle. I don't know. Maybe I should just be grateful that I don't have unforgiveness issues and move on. Here are some of the questions in my head right now. If you have any opinions, I'd be glad to hear them.
- Do you have to feel completely neutral about someone or a situation to mean that you have forgiven them (ie. if you still have hurt feelings over a situation, but have chosen to forgive the person who hurt you, have you really forgiven them?)
- If you just plain don't like someone, does that mean that you are choosing not to forgive them for something even if you can't put your finger on what that may be?
3 comments:
I think those are valid questions to which I have no answers.
Actually, just as I was posting that last comment, I remember someone saying something to the effect that you have forgiven someone if you do not wish to see them "punished" for what they did to you. You might not want them in your life but you sincerely wish the best for them.
I remember reading once in a book on forgiveness that it meant that you chose to bless someone else in spite of what had been done. Or something like that (it was a long time ago now). I think we can strive to forget, to truly move beyond something painful, but I also think that because we are human it will always be a process. I also think that God does not require us to remain in a bad situation (abusive or something-this is not anything I've experienced, just thinking of other scenarios) or a dangerous one.
Forgiveness can be so hard...I even feel that way with my kids sometimes. But I often tell myself,"Just think what you've done to offend your Savior." That will usually put me in my place! And hopefully soften my heart. :)
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