Houston, We Have A Smile!

Finally!

2011

This was the year that Harper finally smiled in her Santa picture.

Last year, there was a slight suggestion of a smile.

2010

And the year before that, I can only describe her expression as "Santa Paralysis".

2009

I'm glad she's finally warming up to the old guy.


`

Pulling The Santa Card

A mother-daughter exchange from last night:

Harper: Can I have some candy?

Me: Nope. It's time for bed.

Harper: Santa, are you watching? Mommy is not being good.

Touché, young one.


On a similar note, I just got an email from Amazon that one of Harper's Christmas presents is on its way.

Here is the actual title of the item on Amazon's website:

Double Layered Rainbow Fairy Princess Butterfly Costume Dress-up Wings w/Pink, Purple, Blue & Green Rainbow Fairy Wings

Never in my wildest dreams did I think my life would include double layered rainbow fairy princess butterfly dress-up wings...

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Thanksgiving 2011

My church did a fantastic message about gratefulness last Sunday. You can watch the whole thing here. It's only 30 minutes and well worth your time.

But, if you are more of a CliffsNotes type of person, here are the points that really hit home with me.

1. Don't assume people know you are thankful. 

Don't assume your husband/wife knows you are thankful for them.
Don't assume your parents know you are thankful for them.
Don't assume your boss knows you are thankful for him/her.
Don't assume your friends know you are thankful for them.

Tell them. Express your gratitude. It will make you feel awesome and it will make them feel awesome.

2. You can't be grateful for something you feel entitled to. 

This video is a funny representation of that.



But on a more serious note, if you feel entitled to your family, job, house, health, etc. you can't really be grateful for those things.

I have so many things to be thankful for this year. I hope you enjoy your Turkey Day and can reflect on all of the blessings in your life!

Thankful For The Clan

I was saving the best for last...

Today, I am thankful for my wonderful family. 

My husband is awesome. He is the quintessential Renaissance man. He fixes our cars, our bikes, and pretty much anything else that breaks around here.

He protects and serves our community.

He's good at everything he attempts.

And most of all, he's a wonderful father and husband.

I am thankful for Harper. 

She is the best part of every day. She is sweet and witty and thoughtful.

And sometimes, she's a little over the top. But, I like that side of her too.

I am thankful for my wonderful parents.

They shaped me and molded me and encouraged me to be the person that I am today.

They are awesome parents and even better grandparents. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and this mini blogging project of mine will be over. Even though I struggled to post every day, I thoroughly enjoyed reflecting on all of the blessings in my life. Stay tuned for one more installment...

Thankful For Dodging Bullets and Cultivating Friendships

Yesterday, I had my checkup with my neurologist and everything looked good - which I could have told them before the 500 pin pricks they made me endure to make sure that they felt the same on both sides of my body!

The waiting room of the neurology clinic is not a happy place. There were lots of people in bad shape - some looked like they had had major strokes and lost the ability to walk, some were shaking from Parkinson's, and the guy sitting next to me (who looked about 50ish) told me that he had multiple sclerosis. He needed a walker. He was 32.

I don't know why some people get a raw deal and others dodge the bullets. Yesterday (and forever) I am thankful that I was one of the dodgers.

Today, I am thankful for all of my wonderful friends. If you are reading this, I'm probably talking about you.

I am thankful for my friends who live all over the country and who I can email prayer requests or funny stories or little annoyances to. I'm grateful that technology allows us to connect and be involved with the daily details of each other's lives.

I am also thankful for my Nashville friends. I love the people who are becoming an integral part of our lives. I'm grateful that they are investing in us and helping us make Nashville feel like our home.

Thankful For Sundays and Fortune Cookies

Tonight, I am thankful for Sundays.

Rob has a weird work schedule. Sundays are the only day that we can spend the whole day together as a family.

Much of today was spent cleaning and cooking to get ready to have friends over for dinner tomorrow night. But we did manage to squeeze in a fun family lunch at a local Chinese place.

The food was pretty good, and the fortune cookies were three for three.

Here's Rob's:

Pretty good, considering we're having dinner with friends tomorrow night.

Here's Harper's:

Again, right on!

And here's mine:

This one is probably true for all wives and mothers. Rob got a good chuckle out of it and said something about the universe trying to tell me something. I don't know what he was talking about, which is kind of annoying...

Although our Sundays can be kind of intense because we try to pack a lot in, I am thankful that we get to spend this day together.

Triple Thankful

So I'm kind of failing at posting every single day. I have a new found respect for bloggers who crank out consistent content. But like I said earlier, while I may have trouble finding time (and energy) to conjure up a post, I have yet to have trouble finding things to be thankful for.

So here are my three things to cover Thursday-Saturday. They are a little on the frivolous side, but I think that's ok. I'm trying to be mindful of the little things in life that I'm grateful for.

1. I'm thankful for regular butt-kickings. Several times a week, I hit the gym for body combat (think kickboxing but better) and spinning classes.

I hardly ever want to go to these classes. I can usually think of about five excuses to skip them. But without fail, I am always glad I went.

These classes are challenging. Multiple times during the class I think my legs and/or arms are going to fall off. But, it's a good feeling.

I sleep better at night. I'm in a better mood which makes me a more patient mom and wife. I feel better about myself. I find out that I'm stronger than I think I am. And for that, I am thankful.

2. I am thankful for DayQuil.

I have been fighting a cold for about two weeks now. At some points I thought I was winning. But the last two or three days have made me think the cold is getting the upper hand.

Enter DayQuil. I love this stuff. It's my go-to cold remedy. It tastes good but just mediciney enough to make me think that it's capable of knocking out my symptoms. It makes me functional and for that I am thankful.

3. I am thankful for Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness.

This is my other line of defense against colds. There are so many vitamins and minerals stuffed into this drink that it really is a super food. And it tastes good too!

Harper and I both drink this in the morning and I credit it for keeping our sniffles from becoming full-blown colds. We are both around a lot of germy people (preschool, college kids, hospital, etc), so any immune edge we can get is much appreciated. And for that, I am thankful.

Thankful For My Students

Today, I am thankful for my students.

I have a great bunch of students in my general biology class this semester. It's kind of a weird mix - half are non-science majors who put off their required science class until their senior year and the other half are freshman nursing majors who have to take my class as a prerequisite to their nursing classes.

Some professors might not like having these two very different groups combined in one class, but I really like it.

Every single one of them brings something unique to the table. They are all insightful and inquisitive. I find myself learning from them as they are (hopefully) learning from me.

Tonight, I got an email from one of my students. He sent me a link to this cool video of a white blood cell chasing down some bacteria.

He said he was trying to find out more about something we talked about in class and just happened to run across this.

He's an English major.



I am so using this in one of my future lectures!

This class is a great change of pace from the research part of my job. It involves a lot of instant gratification, something that's almost non-existent in research.

My students really recharge my scientific batteries and for that I am thankful.

Thankful For Old Friends And Round Two

Again playing catch-up...

Last night, I got the chance to talk to not one, but two, of my childhood friends on the phone.

I am so thankful for long-lasting friendships. There is just something about the consistency that comes along with childhood friendships that is very comforting.

Even though we live in different cities and don't talk nearly as often as we would like, there is always a common connection that we can tap into. It feels good when someone knows where you're coming from because they essentially came from the same place.

This second one stems from one of the conversations from last night.

I am thankful for round two.

Just when holidays start to become lackluster, you have a kid and everything is new and exciting again.

Now that Harper is three, she is in full holiday mode - every holiday - even arbor day. Which is awesome!

Her excitement is contagious and it makes everything fun again.

For example, she is totally obsessed with the leaves and turkeys right now. It's pretty much all she talks about. She's also very in to making holiday-related crafts (which I blame her school for- not that it's a bad thing, but it does put extra pressure on me to try to match the craftiness bar that has been set by the professionals).

So on Sunday, the three of us took a walk, collected leaves, and later that night (after I had time to think of a craft to do - as stated above, this is not my usual area of expertise) Harper used them to make a turkey.

Note the eyelashes. She wanted to make sure everyone knew this was a girl turkey. I tried to explain to her that girl turkeys don't have red wattles, but she would have none of it.

In any case, I am thankful that as a family, we get to do silly things like this to celebrate the holidays.

Thankful For Goodness

We sang this song in church today.

I love that first line.

You are good, you are good

when there's nothing good in me.

So often I feel like I have very little to show to God in the way of progress. I make the same mistakes over and over again. I take one step forward and two steps back. I forget truths. I forget lessons that should have already been learned.

But even still, God is good.

Today, I am thankful that there is a God and that it's not me.

Thankful For New Babies (No, I'm Not Pregnant)

Today I went to a lovely baby shower for a lovely friend. I have no less than 7 friends who are currently expecting. It's all very exciting!

So today, I am thankful for new little babies.

Babies are great for many reason, but they are particularly awesome for their ability to transform their unsuspecting parents into decent human beings.

Not that you have to have kids to be a good person - I know lots of people without kids that are awesome humans. But they usually have something in their lives that play a similar role as kids do - spouses, pets, dedication to their church or community, etc.

Babies take us out of our comfort zones. They expose our weaknesses. They take no prisoners.

I speak from experience when I say that babies pull you out of self-absorbedness. They force you to be patient. They force you to be flexible. They force you to monitor what you say out loud. They force you to watch ridiculously annoying cartoons.

While there are definitely days that I can sympathize with those organisms who eat their young, at the end of those days, I'm still thankful for my kid because I know that she is helping me to become a better human being.

Whether I like it or not.

Thankful for a Cushy Life and for Those Who Facilitate It

Wow...this blogging every day thing is challenging. Coming up with things to be thankful for is easy, but finding the time to write a coherent post about them is not. Sigh...

Yesterday, I was meaning to write a post about being thankful for how easy my life is.

Despite all of the daily stresses and obligations I have to deal with, my life is super cushy. I have everything I need to be happy and comfortable right at arms length. And if I don't, I can hop in my car and drive less than a mile to Target and get what ever I need as well as things I didn't even know I needed to make my life even more cushy.

This is not the case for everyone.

All too often, I am way too concerned with how I can obtain more creature comforts instead of how I can help other people get basic things like clothes, diapers, food, heat, clean water - things that I take for granted every day.

I am thankful for what I have and I am going to be more intentional about helping others get what they need to be comfortable.

On a similar note, today, Veterans Day, I am very thankful for the people who make it possible for me to have the cushy life that I do.

I am thankful for people who serve or who served in dangerous situations in order to preserve my way of life.

Rob and I have gotten hooked on a new tv show called Bomb Patrol. It's a documentary-style series that profiles Explosive Ordnance Disposal Units serving in Afghanistan.

These units go out into the field, locate, and disarm improvised explosive devices (roadside bombs) and any other booby traps set by the enemy. IEDs alone are responsible for the vast majority of coalition casualties in Afghanistan. 




It is not for the faint of heart.

Members of these units put their lives on the line to keep other soldiers and civilians safe.

I am thankful for their service and the service of all veterans.






`

Thankful For Provision

Tonight I am thankful for divine provision.

As my medical bills have started to trickle in, I am very thankful that I have good insurance. Strokes are expensive. Think really nice brand new car expensive. Luckily, my insurance has taken care of 90% of it.

This still leaves us will a chunk of change to come up with - a chunk that we weren't necessarily planning on.

At the end of the summer, I was presented with the opportunity to teach a biology class at Belmont University. I was really excited about it because Belmont is a great school and I thought it would be a rewarding and fun teaching experience.

I was also excited about it because I was going to get paid. Not a lot, but enough that I was already planning the cruise that Rob, Harper, and I were going to take in the Spring.

At the time, I had no idea that a month after I started teaching, I would be racking up thousands of dollars worth of MRIs and echocardiograms.

The amount that we owe is almost exactly the amount that I am making moonlighting.

Almost to the penny.

Talk about provision.

It's almost like God had it all planned out...

We may have to take a raincheck on the cruise, but we have what we need.

And for that I am thankful.


`

Thankful Two For Tuesday

Because I missed yesterday, here's a two-fer.

I am thankful for NPR.

I love NPR. I especially love listening to NPR podcasts at work. Some days, I literally spend hours with my face pressed up against a microscope. Listening to This American Life or Fresh Air makes that time infinitely more enjoyable and I feel like I'm enriching my brain (all while getting my work done which kind of makes me feel like I'm getting away with something...)

I also listen to Car Talk on occasion which comes in handy when you have a mechanically inclined husband like mine. The other day I told Rob that the wear indicators on my breaks were making noise. He was totally impressed that I even knew what wear indicators were.

I actually don't.

I just know that when someone calls into Car Talk and tells them that their breaks are squeeling, the guys usually say something about wear indicators.

So, thank you to NPR for making me smarter. Or at least making me sound smarter.

I am also thankful for scientific innovation.

My dad forwarded this video to me. It's from a story National Geographic did about a new way to deliver stem cells to burn victims. Doctors retrieve a patient's own stem cells and then spray paint them onto the burned area. The results are jaw-droppingly dramatic. Watch the video. You will be amazed. There are so many ways this technology could be used but something that comes to mind right away is what a blessing this will be for soldiers who are burned in combat.

I am thankful that there are smart people out there working hard to find new ways to heal people.

Thankful For Choices

Today, I am thankful for choices.

Today was kind of a blah day for me. From the time I woke up, I realized that I was teetering on the edge of a bad mood. There was really no reason for me to be in a bad mood. It was a beautiful day and I didn't have anything particularly pressing to accomplish. But nonetheless, I felt like I was in a funk.

As soon as I realized this, I had a choice to make. I could choose to indulge my bad mood or I could choose to turn things around. I could choose to be grumpy (for no reason) or I could choose to be joyful.

I'd like to be able to tell you that right then and there, I chose joy and turned myself around.

But, the truth is that I had to keep reminding myself all day that I had no reason to be in a bad mood. I had to keep choosing to be positive. Every time I felt myself slipping into grumpiness, I had to choose to snap out of it.

In the past, I probably would have failed at days like today. I would have given into the bad mood. I would have been miserable and infected those around me with negativity.

But today, I made progress.

So tonight, as I reflect back on the day, I am thankful that at any given moment, I have the chance to choose what kind of person I am going to be. I have the chance to choose what the script of my internal dialogue is saying. I have a chance to choose how I perceive myself and the world around me. I have the chance to chose to be joyful. I have the chance to chose to be thankful.




`

Thankful For Fall Colors

Today I am thankful for the beautiful fall we are having. Many times over the last few weeks, I've been blown away by how pretty the tress are this year. This picture was taken on Vanderbilt's campus. It's a beautiful place to work on any given day, but it's particularly nice this time of year.

The combination of bright sunny days and cool nights has really done the trick this year. If you want to learn more about why and how leaves change colors, click here.



`

24 Days of Thankfulness

I'm back!

Did you miss me?

Holy moly have I been busy these last couple weeks!

Extra Work Stuff + Halloween + Normal Stuff = No Time To Blog

But now I'm back and I have a wonderful way (that I totally ripped off from lots of other bloggers) to get my blogging back on track.

Every day from now until Thanksgiving, I am going to mention one thing that I am thankful for. There is a lot of evidence to suggest that people who cultivate a grateful mindset are happier and healthier. Although I try to be mindful of this, I have found that I tend to be sporadically grateful rather that continuously grateful. I'll feel a wave of gratitude for a beautiful day or a good result at work, but at times I forget that every day brings things to be thankful for. This is going to be a good exercise for me to really appreciate the gifts of everyday life.

So to start things off, here are my first four things (I intended to start this on November 1st, but that just didn't happen. So, I'm playing catch-up already!).

1.  I am thankful for my stroke.

I know that sounds funny, but it's true. I would never want to have another one, but I'm really glad that it happened to me. I know that I can only say that because don't have any residual effects. I am incredibly thankful for the healing that I experienced as well as the attitude adjustment that followed.

2. I am thankful for my kid.

I know that's kind of an easy and obvious thing to be thankful for, but it's true. The other day, we were having a conversation about what happens to food after you eat it. I told her that after you swallow it, it goes down into your tummy where it is broken up into really small pieces. Then it moves into your intestines where all of the nutrients are absorbed so that your body can have energy. Then once all of the good things are absorbed, the leftover stuff is waste and it leaves your body when you go potty. Later that night, we were watching tv and she said, "Mom, I am going to wast some energy." She then got up and went to the bathroom. When she cam back I said, "Harper, did you use the potty". She said "Yes. I wasted my energy!" Not exactly, but it's a start.

3. I am thankful for awesome friends who take beautiful pictures of my kid.

This is my friend Erin. She is a great photographer. She's also a great singer, a great cook, and a great mom to THREE boys with another little boy on the way! A couple weeks ago, she took some pictures of Harper. Last night she posted them on her blog. You can check them out here. She totally captured Harper's personality. I already have visions of our Christmas card dancing in my head! If you live in the greater Cincinnati area, make an appointment with her. You will not be disappointed.


4. I am thankful for Pumpkin Pie-flavored coffee creamer.

Take that Starbucks! I no longer need your overpriced (but oh so good) Pumpkin Spice Latte. I can make my own at home!

Ok, I'm all caught up now. I hope you will play along with me for the next few weeks. I will be posting these blogs on facebook so leave comments here or on there to tell me what you are thankful for. I think it will be great to encourage each other in this and I'm looking forward to hearing about all of the blessings in your life!



`

Party Tricks

Harper and I have a 45 minute commute to school/work in the morning. While some people might hate a long commute, I actually rather enjoy this time. Sometimes we listen to music or kid books on tape. Other times, we talk about the things that we see as we drive.

Lately, I've been trying to make our morning car time more purposeful by using it to teach her something specific. At the beginning of the week, I set a goal for what I want her to learn. For instance, one week I taught her the order of colors in the rainbow. Another week, I taught her how to spell her first and last name.

While my goal is to have her master these things in the span of a week, it really only takes her a day or two.

I've found that the trick to getting her to remember things is to put it in the form of a song. This kid will instantly absorb any bit of information if it's set to music. I just make up a song that contains the "lesson" for the week, sing it to her a couple times, and by the time we get to school she pretty much knows it.

Last week, I taught her how to name all of the planets in order of their proximity to the sun. Below are the lyrics to the little song that I made up.

Try it with your kids. It makes for a fun party trick.

And that whole learning thing is probably good too.




To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star:

Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune
Pluto used to be a planet
But the scientists said it was too small
Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune

Knock It Off Already.

2008

2009

2010

 2011

I have repeatedly asked her to stop growing up.

I think she's doing it to spite me.


`

The Sanctity of Pumpkins

A couple weeks ago, we went to Walden Farm to pick out our pumpkins. I look forward to our pumpkin pickin' outing every year. I don't know about you, but for us Fall doesn't officially begin until we have pumpkins on our front porch.

Did you ever wonder why pumpkins are associated with Halloween? Well, I did so I looked it up. 

The tradition of carving vegetables seems to have originated in the British Isles. Particularly in Ireland, turnips, potatoes, and beets were carved and illuminated with pieces of burning coal and set on porches or in windows to represent the souls of departed loved ones in celebration of All Saints Day and All Souls Day (celebrated on November 1st and 2nd respectively to remember departed loved ones in heaven and those who may be in Purgatory) . 

In the mid-1800s, over a million Irish citizens immigrated to North America to escape the Potato Famine. They brought with them their rich traditions including the carving of vegetables. Turnips, potatoes, and beets were not as readily available in their new homeland, but pumpkins were in abundance. Hence, pumpkins were carved and illuminated instead. 

I'm not big on carving pumpkins. I put so much effort into picking just the right ones that I can't bear the thought of cutting them up.

However, Rob and Harper are not of the same opinion when it comes to the sanctity of pumpkins and I may get out voted this year...

Oh well. I do enjoy roasted pumpkin seeds, so all is not lost.



`

Trying Not To Let It Wear Off

Well, tomorrow marks exactly one month since I had my stroke.

I just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who reached out to me with words of encouragement.

Individually and on this blog, I have tried to share bits and pieces of the realizations that I've had while I process what happened to me and the implications it has on my life. I've been kind of hesitant to talk about some these things because I really don't want to be perceived as one of those touchy-feely types that talks about their feelings all day. I also don't want to be perceived as a preachy know-it-all who's got it all figured out.

I assure you, neither is true.

Over the last month, many of you have shared inspirational testimonies of your own with me. So many of us have had profound moments in our lives that have given us life-altering attitude adjustments.

But, so many of us have also forgotten or minimized these profound moments and their affect on our lives has been muted.

I don't know about you, but now that I've gotten a glimpse of what mortality means, I don't ever want to go back to the old way of doing things.

Everyday I wake up and I don't have a stroke, it's a good day. No matter what else happens in the course of that day, I keep reminding myself that I'm having a good day. I now have this deep and constant sense of gratitude that serves as the underpinning of everything else that's going on around me. It's a wonderful feeling and I can literally feel it transforming every aspect of my life from how I approach my marriage,  parenting, work, free time... Everything is changing. And it's a good thing.

But like all good things tend to do, I'm afraid it will wear off. I don't ever want this good thing to wear off and the only way I can think to prevent that is to constantly remind myself that life is fleeting and there is no time to waste on things that don't matter.

In this video, Ric Elias talks about his life-altering attitude adjusting moment. He was a passenger on the plane that crash landed in the Hudson River. Take the 5 minutes to watch this. He is right on about how you can't afford to put things off and why you should try to eliminate negative energy. This guys gets it.



As I continue to find meaning in my experience, I will try to share it with you. And I hope that as you find meaning in your own lives, you will share it with me. Let's keep reminding and inspiring each other.

Delicate Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It

This is a mouse heart. It's pretty massive as you can tell (heavy on the sarcasm). 

Some of my research deals with the blood vessels that supply the heart with blood, the coronary vessels. Mouse coronaries are huge (even heavier on the sarcasm). 

I'm trying to understand how these vessels (along with a couple other types of vessels) form and how they repair themselves if they get damaged. I spent the better part of yesterday with my head in a microscope dissecting out these babies from the surrounding heart tissue. It's a delicate operation, but it's also kind of relaxing.

Growing up, I always thought that I would enjoy being a paleontologist who carefully digs up dinosaur bones with a paint brush or being an art historian who painstakingly restores frescoes on the ceilings of cathedrals.

I think I've found the scientific equivalent.




.

Morning Email

My mom emails me every morning. Typically, there's nothing important in the messages. She just wants to say good morning and let me know she's thinking about me.

I look forward to it every day.

This email from last week made me smile. It's soooo my mom.

Here is my inner commentary as I was reading it. 

Mom: Dad was notified by American Express that someone was using his card. American Express cancelled his old card and sent him a new one. 

Me: Boo on people who steal. Glad AmEx is getting it straightened out.

Mom: I do worry about you and Rob using debit cards.

Me: I know. You've told me that before. We like to use debit cards instead of credit cards because it forces us to be more aware of what we're spending.

Mom: I WORRY THAT SOMEONE WILL CLEAN OUT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

Me: Wow. My mom is passionate about credit card fraud. How does she even know that all caps equals yelling?

Mom: (AND THAT'S ALL THAT I WILL SAY ABOUT THAT.)

Me. Why is she still yelling at me? And how do parentheses affect the yelling? Do they indicate yelling on the inside? Is this yelling turned inward?

Mom: SORRY, I HIT THE CAPS BUTTON BY MISTAKE.

Me: Ah yes. Everything is now clear. This is the mother I know and love.


And as a side note, I did discuss with her the implications of bringing home baby squirrels. Crisis averted.

And, yes. My mom does sign every email WOW. It's MOM upside down. I love her.

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

This kid cracks me up. Sometimes I just can't believe the things that come out of her mouth. For instance...

She's in this phase where she like to narrate everything that's going on around her. If you've ever watched a dvd with the bonus director's commentary feature on, you know what I'm talking about. During a trip to Target, she single-handedly offended just about every person we came into contact with. First there was the overweight lady that she pointed to and said, "That lady has a baby in her belly." Next, there was the teenage boy (bless his heart) with acne that she pointed to and said, "That boy has spots on his face!". And finally, there was the old man that she pointed to and yelled (literally yelled), "Hey old man, why don't you go to Florida!".

I have no idea where she got that last one from. Maybe she noticed that there were a lot of old people around on our recent trip to Florida? But, we certainly didn't point them out to her.

Just to give you another little glimpse into her mind... we were eating Dunkin' Donut munchkins the other day and she picked out a jelly-filled one. She took one bite and inspected the middle of it. Then she turned to me and said, "Mom, this donut has blood in the middle...and I like it."

Seriously? Please tell me that this is not the first symptom of an impending Twighlight obsession.

I took this video earlier this week. I wanted to show my mom and dad that Harper can spell her first and last name. She is in fact 3 by the way. Not 5 like she would have you believe. (She's on a 5 kick because she really wants to go to kindergarten and I told her that she can only go when she turns 5. So she's trying to will herself into growing up and in addition convince us to go along with it. Oh, when she learns how to channel that willpower into concrete things...look out! She is going to be a force to be reckoned with.)

I Promise This Blog Is Not Going To Turn Into A Stroke Blog

I really do prefer to write about my kid or weird things my husband does (love you, Rob!). So, I promise that this blog will return to its regularly scheduled programming soon.

But, I just had to share this with you. One of my friends tipped me off about this amazing video. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist, had a massive stroke. Her description of what it feels like to have a stroke is fascinating. But what is even more remarkable is the perspective that she gained in the aftermath.

My situation was nowhere near this traumatic. But, I can definitely relate to the paradigm shifting attitude adjustment that comes along with something like this. In the last couple days, I can't count the number of times that I have said "I'm really ready to get back to life as usual." But honestly, I don't want to return to life a usual. I got a glimpse of how fragile life can be and I realize that there's no time for life as usual.

At the end of the video, Dr. Taylor talks about how in every moment you can choose the person that you want to be. This statement really resonated with me. I am going to start making some different choices. How about you? Let my wake up call be your wake up call.

The Best Worst Day Ever

On Thursday morning, I had a stroke.

As I was taking a shower, my right arm and the right side of my face became numb.

Then, I couldn't remember my husband's name.

Then, I couldn't remember my daughter's name.

Then, I couldn't remember my name.

Something was very wrong.

I got out of the shower and woke my husband up. When I tried to tell him that my body was numb and I was having trouble remembering things, I couldn't talk. I tried to say the words, but only jumbled sounds came out.

I grabbed a pen and scribbled this.

On a good day, my spelling isn't great, but this was worse than usual.

Still no words. I started to cry.

Rob jumped up and called 911.

An ambulance took me to the ER at Vanderbilt Medical Center. It was the right place to go.

Shortly after I got to the hospital, the numbness was gone and I could talk again.

When you come into the ER with symptoms like mine, there's no messing around. Right away, I saw teams of neurologists and cardiologists who ordered a multitude of tests.

I'm a good test taker. I passed all of them except for two.

I had an MRI of my brain. They took lots of cool pictures like this one. You wish you had a picture of your brain, don't you? It's ok to be jealous.

The MRI showed that a blood clot cut off the blood supply to part of the left side of my brain. The white spot indicates where the damage occurred.

The good news is that it's small. The other good news is that my brain was able to "re-wire" itself to bypass the dead tissue. Within about two hours after the initial incident, the numbness disappeared and I could talk. I don't have any residual effects (although I'm probably going to blame all future spelling mistakes on the dead brain tissue).

This is nothing short of a miracle. 

At this point, my doctors are stumped as to what caused the blood clot in the first place. It's exceptionally rare for someone my age to have a stroke. I'm as healthy as they come. I exercise regularly. I eat all the right food (Hello? I put flax seed on my oatmeal for goodness sake!). I don't smoke. I hardly ever drink. The only thing that might have caused it is the fact that I take birth control pills. In a very small percentage of people, birth control pills can cause blood clots (but you usually have to be a smoker for that to happen). For all intents and purposes, this thing just came out of the blue. 

My doctors may not know what caused the clot, but they were able to figure out how it got to my brain. 

It turns out, I have a hole in my heart. Who knew? Actually, three out of ten people who are reading this have a hole too. It's pretty common and most people never know that they have one. 

In my case, I have a hole that connects the right and left sides of my heart. They did a pretty cool test to prove that there is communication between the right and left chambers. Basically, they inject some bubbles into the right side of the heart and look to see if any bubbles end up in the left side. 

Here is a picture of my heart before they put the bubbles in. 

Then, they injected bubbles on the right side.

Then, they look to see if bubbles end up in the other side. If they do, it means the bubbles are leaking through a hole between the chambers. 

So...I have a leak. This leak allowed a blood clot to travel from the veins in my legs into the right side of my heart then into the left side of my heart and then into the arteries that carry blood to my brain. Not a good situation. 

I can have a procedure to seal up the leak. I'm not sure I want to do that, though. I would rather prevent future blood clots and just leave the hole alone. 

So for now, this is my new best friend (and I'm ditching the birth control pills. Harper keeps asking for a sister anyways...). 

I'm a down-player by nature. I like to tough things out and I certainly don't like people to worry about me. But, I'll be honest with you. This was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me.

I'm still processing all of this (and I'm still waiting to discover what my new superpower is going to be. Surely, the new wiring upstairs has allowed me to speak an obscure tribal language or reheat my coffee with my mind, right??) and I don't want to get all philosophical or anything, but I feel like I've been given the gift of perspective and I want to share it with you.

There's no time to waste. You have to be all in all the time. It's too important not to. 

Fore!

One of my favorite memories of being pregnant was the day we found out we were having a girl. I distinctly remember Rob's reaction. He was kind of hoping for a boy, so it took him a minute to process this new nugget of information.

Deep in thought, he started going through the following check list out loud: She can still play golf. She can still play tennis. She can still be a swimmer. She can still be a cyclist... He was audibly switching gears from blue to pink and reassuring himself that even though football was probably not going to be an option, she could still do many of the activities that he enjoys doing.

The ultrasound technician and I just looked at each other and smiled.

Well, I am happy to report that we are one step closer to achieving Rob's checklist. Behold what was waiting on our porch when we got home last night.

Rob has been teaching her how to putt in the living room using one of his putters. It was obviously too big for her, but she was actually pretty accurate with it. Now that she has some clubs that are a little more appropriate, watch out. We may have the next Michelle Wie on our hands!